I was so mad you could have boiled a pot of water on my head.

A gift - be it a present, a kind word or a job done with care and love - explains itself!... and if receivin' it embarrasses you, it's because your 'thanks box' is warped.

Thoughts can hurt like real pain.

Some feminists feel that a woman should never be wrong. We have a right to be wrong.

I'm independent as a hog on ice and a hog on ice is dead, cold, well-preserved and don't need a mother'grabbin, thing.

Writers are encouraged to "keep 'em laughing" and complain "with good humor" in order to "win" allies. The joke is always on ourselves.

Everybody's got some sin, but if it troubles your heart you're a gentle sinner, just a good soul gone wrong.