The difficulty about all this dying, is that you can't tell a fellow anything about it, so where does the fun come in?

How fatally the entire want of humor cripples the mind.

The success or failure of a life, as far as posterity goes, seems to lie in the more or less luck of seizing the right moment of escape

Ah! Those strange people who have the courage to be unhappy! Are they unhappy, by the way?

I make it a rule always to believe compliments implicitly for five minutes, and to simmer gently for twenty more.

I wonder whether if I had an education I should have been more or less a fool that I am.

The gain isn't counted to the recluse and inactive that, having nothing to measure themselves by and never being tested by failure, they simmer and soak perpetually in conscious complacency.