In a narcissistic cathexis, you invest more energy into your ideas about another person than in the actual, objective, external person. So the man who falls in love with beauty is quite different from the man who loves a girl and feels she is beautiful and can see what is beautiful about her.
Alison BechdelIt was a vicious cycle, though. The more gratification we found in our own geniuses, the more isolated we grew.
Alison Bechdel