As always, the British especially shudder at the latest American vulgarity, and then they embrace it with enthusiasm two years later

Man has an incurable habit of not fulfilling the prophecies of his fellow men.

They have been playing golf for 800 years and nobody has satisfactorily said why.

To the goggling unbeliever Texans say, as people always say about their mangier dishes, 'But it's just like chicken, only tenderer.' Rattlesnake is, in fact, just like chicken - only tougher.

Americans are less mystical about what produced their inland or meadow courses; they are the product of the bulldozerm rotary ploughs, mowers, sprinkler systems and alarmingly generous wads of folding money.

To get an elementary grasp of the game of golf, a human must learn, by endless practice, a continuous and subtle series of highly unnatural movements, involving about sixty-four muscles, that result in a seemingly natural swing, taking two seconds to begin and end.

If computers take over, it will serve us right.