When I was 12 and met my real father for the first time, I was terrified I would lose the one I already had.

I loved Dad more for treating the biological reality as trivial, irrelevant. He loved me no less than his other three children.

When I was 12 and met my real father for the first time, I was terrified I would lose the one I already had.

I was not a Southern California girl. I hated having my photograph taken. I felt shy and embarrassed around famous people.

Don't waste time on what's not important. Don't get sucked into the drama. Get on with it: don't dwell on the past. Be a big person; be generous of spirit; be the person you'd admire.

The most important thing in convoluted families, I learnt as I wrote, is that the child feels loved. I knew from a young age that I was a problem which required constant solving; but I never felt unloved. I was lucky.

Be a big person; be generous of spirit; be the person you'd admire.