Once you want something, everything changes. Now I want everything. More and more and more.

I think of how perhaps the best way to fly would be with hands full of earth, so you always remember where you came from.

Writing, painting, singing -- it cannot stop everything. Cannot halt death in its tracks. But perhaps it can make the pause between death's footsteps sound and look and feel beautiful, can make the space of waiting a place where you can linger without as much fear. For we are all walking each other to our deaths, and the journey there between footsteps makes up our lives.

It is one thing to make a choice and it is another thing to never have the chance.

We could have been happy. I know that, and it is perhaps the hardest thing to know.

I wonder if I will ever have the strength to hold onto something. Or if I will always be someone who destroys.

I had really great parents who always gave me lots of opportunity for choice, but I didnt always realize how rare that was for a girl for them to say, You can be a mom or have a career or do both or do something we havent thought of yet.