He looks at me, the light in his eyes fractures into millions of bitsโa kaleidoscope of darkness that may never be fixed.
Alyson NoelBut I want you to know that you're a beautiful girl, far more beautiful than I ever was at your age, and that starving yourself to compete with all of those skinny celebrities who spend half their lives checking in and out of rehab is not only a completely unreasonable and unattainable goal, but will only end up making you sick.
Alyson NoelThe truth is revealed when you are ready to receive it when you need it in order to move forward to take the next step in your journey. to move on toward your destiny.
Alyson NoelNo matter what happens, we'll always be together, always find a way to locate each other. No matter which guise my soul decides to wear, I will always return to you. Just like I always have returned to you.
Alyson NoelSoundlessly whispering into the void, my lips moving quickly, silently, without ceasing. Calling his name, calling him to me. Even though there's no use. Even though it's futile. Even though it's way past too late.
Alyson NoelNo: What the heck happened? Or: Why did you go from nearly kissing me to tossing me across your yard and into the patio furniture?
Alyson NoelIt's not that kind of love. It's the real kind. The unconditional kind. The nonjudgemental kind. Not the physical kind. I love you as a fellow soul who inhabits this earth. I love you as a fellow immortal. I love you because I finally understand what made you the way you are. And if I could change it, I would. But I can'tโso I choose to love you instead. And my hope is that my acceptance of you will spur you to do something good too, but if notโ" I shrug. "At least I can say I tried.
Alyson NoelBest friends make the worst enemies, they know all your secrets and how to hurt you the most.
Alyson NoelAnd I start to say, no. Start to ask him to please just take it off and put it away. Start to explain how it holds far too many memories for me. But then I remember what Damen said once about memories - that they're haunting things. And because I refuse to be haunted by mine - I just take a deep breath and smile when I say, "You know, I think it looks really good on you. You should defiantly keep it.
Alyson NoelWhenever I look at me, all i see are things I'd like to change. Whenever Damon looks at me, all he sees is a glorious gift from the universe somewhere in the middle lies the truth.
Alyson NoelI mean, yeah, maybe our fate is sometimes fixed and unchangeable, but there are other times when its shaped purely by the actions we take.
Alyson NoelI look at him more than a little shocked by his words knowing how much he likes being right being in charge most people do.
Alyson NoelWhen you think about it in the big scheme of things our time together is like a dash of spice in a big cosmic soup - important for richness of flavor but still not quite the main ingredient. The past is over. It can't and shouldn't be reclaimed. All we ever have is now anyway.
Alyson NoelNow, now." He smiles, "Don't you worry 'bout a thing. Damen's right where you left him. Though I must say I can't believe that you left him. I underestimated you. I had no idea. Though I can't help but wonder how Damen would feel if he knew. I bet he underestimated you too.
Alyson NoelMusic is one of the highest art forms there is. It can define a life, change a life, or even safe a life, in just three short minutes.
Alyson NoelMy feelings for you are not conditional. I don't judge you. I don't lose patience with you. I don't punish you. I just love you. That's all. Pure and simple.
Alyson NoelAnd just as I start to move past him, my hip accidentally rubs against his, and his face is so close, and his eyes so deep, that I can't help but lift my fingers to his smooth, sculptured cheek. Then without even thinking, I close my eyes, lean in, and kiss him.
Alyson NoelHome. That wonderful place I was lucky enough to revisit no matter how short a time finally realizing it's not relegated to just one single place its wherever you make it.
Alyson NoelBecause that was some mega tense awkwardness, a real 'Hello my name is Ever and I'll be your next stalker' kind of moment.
Alyson NoelDoes it really matter if I choose the bus over a BMW, and generic over Gucci? Because the car, the wardrobe, the zip code-those are just nouns, things that are fun to have around, sure, but in the end, they have nothing to do with the real me. Nothing to do with who I really am.
Alyson NoelAfter two solid weeks of waking up in Damen's bed, wrapped in Damen's arms, you'd think I'd have grown used to it by now. But nope. Not even close. Though I could get used to it. I'd like to get used to it.
Alyson NoelI was a beautiful vampire princess loved, worshiped and admired by all. I lived in a luxurious gothic castle and I have no idea how I ended up at this fiberglass table with you losers.
Alyson NoelTrust me, you can't play the game if you don't know the rules. And if you don't know the rules, someone's bound to get hurt.
Alyson NoelDespite the fact that he no longer dressed like the big dork he did then, despite the fact that heโd swapped the nerd wear for some much cooler clothes, despite the fact that heโd let his hair go all shaggy and loose to the point where it curved down into his face in that cool guy, slightly windswept, effortless way, despite the fact that every time I looked into his brilliant blue eyes I was totally reminded of the Zac Efron poster that used to hang on my old bedroom wall, it still didnโt make it okay for him to laugh at me the way he did.
Alyson NoelJust make sure you're gone by the time we get to Miles's. It creeps me out to see you sitting in his lap without his permission.
Alyson NoelEver, if Iโve learned nothing else in my six hundred years of living, itโs that people hate change almost as much as they hate for their beliefs to be challenged.
Alyson NoelLife is still life. Itโs still tough, complicated, and more than a little messy, with lessons to be learned, mistakes to be made, triumphs and disappointments to be had, and not every day is meant to be a party.
Alyson NoelFour hundred years of losing out on the girl of my dreams isn't sitting very well with me these days.
Alyson NoelBecause sometimes there's more worth in silence than noise. Sometimes everything you need to know is contained in that small quiet space. Sometimes we get so caught up in distraction and noise and seeking other people's approval we forget the quiet seed of truth that lives in our hearts. But just because we fail to tune in to it, doesn't mean it's not there.
Alyson NoelBut while everything around us seems to be in a constant state of flux- people at their very core remained exactly the same. All of us still seeking the things we've sought all alongโshelter, food, love, greater meaningโ" He shakes his head. "A quest that's immune to evolution.
Alyson NoelDamen is gorgeous. I know this without looking up. I just focus on my book as he makes his way toward me since I know way too much about my classmates already. So as far as I'm concerned, an extra moment of ignorance really is bliss. But according to the innermost thoughts of Stacia Miller sitting just two rows before me - Damen Auguste is totally smoking hot. Her best friend, Honor, completely agrees. So does Honor's boyfriend, Craig, but that's a whole other story
Alyson NoelNothing can rival the incredible rush the act of creation brings. Of crafting something you know is destined to be great for all time.
Alyson NoelHe pulls me into his arms, his touch calm and soothing, but unable to erase the truth. "I have to go," he finally whispers. "But Ever, if you want to love me, if you truly want to be with me, then you'll have to accept what we are. I'll understand if you can't.
Alyson NoelThough I have to admit, I had a good laugh when I realized you thought I was a bloodsucker." He smiles. "Oh, well excuse me. I mean since there are immortals running around, I figure we may as well bring on the faeries, wizards, werewolves, andโ" I shake my head. "I mean jeez, you talk about all this like it's normal!
Alyson Noel