I've always dreamed of growing up to be Amy Poehler.

I am interested in people who swim in the deep end. I want to have conversations about real things with people who have experienced real things. I'm tired of talking about movies and gossiping about friends. Life is crunchy and complicated and all the more delicious.

Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier.

Telling me to relax or smile when I'm angry is like bringing a birthday cake into an ape sanctuary. You're just asking to get your nose and genitals bitten off.

Being snubbed is not always a bad thing at awards shows because you end up getting a lot of people coming up to you and telling you how great you are.

Anger and embarrassment are often neighbors.

If I wanted to see Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I'd go to one of Jonah Hill's pool parties.