I'm ugly, I'm overweight, but I'm happy

If you go out to bat against Australia, they come at you hard.

I'm not really superstitious - I don't have any lucky charms or a mascot.

When I have a day off, I will have a day off.

While I'm at second slip I'm not just thinking of what I'm going to have for tea. I'm considering the match as well, wondering how I can help, if there is anything I can offer.

That means I can drive a flock of sheep through the town centre, drink for free in no less than 64 pubs and get a lift home with the police when I become inebriated. What more could you want?

I'm not someone who needs to bat and bat to be in form.