It's always strange to read the things you've hoped for in the past because by now those hopes may be spoken for or gone, transformed or altogether forgotten. Like time, hope can be so senseless. It can carry us up mountains or lie us in the quicksand. But like time, hope is unstoppable, inevitable, and blind. Sometimes we travel fast, hurdling towards the unknown, sometimes the unknown comes hurdling towards us while we watch time standing still.

It was very easy to kind of, kinda shut off and just, just kinda go crazy and just kinda dive into this or that. You never really take a minute to look around, you know take stock and see where you're at and make sure you're doing things for the right reasons and make sure that you remember to call that person who's really important to you and you know, tell them what's on your mind, and be honest with yourself.

Suddenly it makes sense again. In no haze of mindfulness, staring down at this snow-covered quilt of America, I am the stars exploding. Voice shot down to hell, half sick, half recovered, alive and well and ready. The unknown for now will remain as such and in this moment that feeling is not one of suspension. It is the hopeful unknown. Reaching into the future could only be good now as the past is wrapping itself in ribbons and pleasant packing paper, rarely to be revisited.

For a moment there I convinced myself I had my back against a wall, and suddenly the only wall I find my back against is that of a 10 by 10 writing shack in Glendale, where the summer days average between 90 and 100 and each song can be quantified in the sweat it took to write it. There is no ac in hell, and sometimes you've got to get down to get up. The train is gaining speed I should think.

And when I got sick I felt confident that if it was the last thing I ever recorded before I left this earth, I would be really proud of it.

Things are fragile, but we're all being carried and I think we're all on our path in that sense. As fragile as things are, we're still getting there.

You're gonna get thrown curve balls left and right, and that's just the way it goes.