It's always strange to read the things you've hoped for in the past because by now those hopes may be spoken for or gone, transformed or altogether forgotten. Like time, hope can be so senseless. It can carry us up mountains or lie us in the quicksand. But like time, hope is unstoppable, inevitable, and blind. Sometimes we travel fast, hurdling towards the unknown, sometimes the unknown comes hurdling towards us while we watch time standing still.

You're gonna get thrown curve balls left and right, and that's just the way it goes.

If I've learned anything over the past 5 years, it's that you do not know where you're going to be tomorrow. You have to make decisions based on that; it's almost pointless. So, you know, whether I learned, I think I'm pretty aware, pretty conscious of that point to live in the moment. It's a hard lesson, but it's like, I'm trying to learn to quiet my mind down, know what I mean?

...You know what I mean?

You don't have to push or pull or fight or win, the struggle is illusory. Sometimes or rather, all times, you just have to be.

Today I felt like a part of something awesome, the human race. I know it can be ugly; it really is in so many ways. But today there was nothing ugly to see, just people trying to be better. And maybe that's the key. Not resolutions and forgotten promises, but instead a commitment to do this year a little better than the last. I'm feeling good about this one. I really am.

But planes land and so do I, and suns rise, melting away the grounds cool protection. I am finally free, if only for this moment. And should that be the case, then know that I am throwing a parade in first class as I speak. Art has again saved my life, my love and me. What next? Who really cares? Certainly a toast will be in order. Make mine a double.