Always trust strangers, it's the people you know that let you down.

The idea that people in novels should be more sympathetic than people in life simply baffles me.

It's not a crime not to know yourself. It's not a crime to send life away. It's just a shame.

I was 10 when I realised I couldn't stand football. I'd tried, obviously, before this - no one wants to give in to social pariah-hood without a fight. I had stood frozen on pitches, done some running about and shouted a lot, as though I cared.

I grew up in a working-class community. I come from a big family. I knew Donald Trump would win because I knew he is what poor Americans think a rich person looks like. And I knew that Hillary Clinton would annoy voters in their tens of millions, because she basically sucked at communicating with poor people and seemed like a person who'd been powerful and rich for decades. She was a disastrous candidate. I mean, she was up against a psychopath and she still lost. The country's thinking was beyond her, literally.

Interviewing is not a democratic art.

Art you can flush down the loo means nothing to me, even were the loo to be selected by Marcel Duchamp