When I'm manic, I'm so awake and alert, that my eyelashes fluttering on the pillow sound like thunder.

Most nights, I'm good for only four or five hours of sleep. That leaves the other 20. I have to fill them some way.

Weekly $25,000 shopping binges at Barney's and "high end" boutiques for clothes I barely wore were the norm. So were lavish meals with friends where I picked up $1000 tabs. These high-priced activities were within my limits because I was extremely successful financially, a testament to my manic behavior, not to mention my involvement in illegal activities.

My manic depression was ravaging my life, but because nobody could see it, many people thought it was a figment of my imagination.

As no one knew much about my mental illness, a lot of people had the attitude that I had the capability to 'kick it' and get better instantly. This was the most frustrating attitude for me.

When I'm manic, I'm so awake and alert, that my eyelashes fluttering on the pillow sound like thunder.

The little depression I experienced during my manic-depression was not like depression as anyone else had ever described it. It was very violent and angry, and I was full of rage. I wasnt lying in bed.