You could miss someone, but it did no good to fixate on loss. I wished I had the ready words of a Breeder or the ability to comfort with a soft touch. I didn't. Instead I had daggers and determination. That would have to do.

We stand a professional distance apart, as if I can’t feel his pain screaming in my head. Mine amplifies his; they share a joint sound—that of glass breaking—until they swell to a crescendo that deafens.

But it was like a dance across a field strewn with razors, and I bled with every step I took.

I never knew I had the power to hurt him, only that he possessed the power to hurt me.

My heart raced. He needs you, I thought. Don't let him down. I couldn't remember ever being so happy... or so scared.

I felt like the blonde in every horror movie who hears a noise in the basement and goes to investigate alone. Sometimes you smell the stupid all around you, but you step in it anyway.

More than most, I know the pain of surviving.