People forget years and remember moments.
You put a character out there and you're in their power. You're in trouble if they're in yours.
You have to figure out who the right person is to tell the story. And often, people who are very self-aware will only sound as if they are pontificating if they tell the story.
the real killer was when you married the wrong person but had the right children.
Whatever one intends, the work takes on a life of its own.
What will happen can't be stopped. Aim for Grace.