Liberals are stalwart defenders of civil liberties - provided we're only talking about criminals.

If you want to find the cool, anti-establishment rebels who don't answer to The Man on college campuses today, you have to go to a meeting of the College Republicans. They are rebelling against at least 99 percent of their professors.

Even Obama's staunchest supporters are starting to leave him. Last week Michelle Obama demanded to see a copy of his birth certificate.

When liberals start acting like they're opposed to pre-marital sex and mothers having careers, you know McCain's vice presidential choice has knocked them back on their heels.

Where there's smoke around a conservative, there are journalists furiously rubbing two sticks together.

I highly approve of Romney's decision to be kind and gentle to the retard.

The beauty of being a liberal is that history always begins this morning. Every day liberals can create a new narrative that destroys the past as it occurred. We have always been at war with Eastasia.