I want to be the new Marilyn Monroe and find my own Clark Gable.

For some reason, people think I am this terrible person and it really hurts me to hear that. I am just doing the best I know how to.

I did Playboy. There was an ad in the paper for playmates. Playboy called me and flew me to Los Angeles, and I was on the March cover of 1992.

I don't understand why God took him and didn't take me.

It's very expensive to be me.

He's comming to meet me on Sun. Cant wait!!... Please God let him love me!!... This could be it [followed by five happy faces].... Hes going to publish my pictures Im so glad I didn't sleep with him either!... I hate for men to want sex all the time. I hate sex anyway. (1992, diary entry as she prepares for a meeting with Paul Marciano, head of Guess.)

I finally feel like I'm becoming somebody. I really think like I can do something. I just know I'm going to be an actress. I want it so bad.