I've reached the point where I hardly care whether I live or die. The world will keep on turning without me, I can't do anything to change events anyway.

I can't let them see my doubts, or the wounds they've inflicted on me.

And you can always, always, give kindness

Riches, prestige, everything can be lost. But the happiness in your heart can only be dimmed; it will always be there as long as you live, to make you happy again. Whenever you're feeling lonely or sad, try going to the loft on a beautiful day and looking outside. Not at the houses and the rooftops, but at the sky. As long as you can look fearlessly at the sky, you'll know that your pure within and will find happiness once more.

As long as this exists, this sunshine and this cloudless sky, and as long as I can enjoy it, how can I be sad?

And finally I twist my heart round again, so that the bad is on the outside and the good is on the inside, and keep on trying to find a way of becoming what I would so like to be, and could be, if there weren't any other people living in the world.

If God lets me live, I shall attain more than Mummy ever has done, I shall not remain insignificant, I shall work in the world and for mankind!