He raped me … he fondled me, he put me on all fours, and had sex with me.

I was raised to pretend.

And for anyone who ever thought that Ellen and I broke it off because of sexuality, you couldn't be more mistaken. And for anyone who thought my mother's prayers had anything to do with me marrying a man, forget it.

I'm not crazy, but it's a crazy life. I was raised in a crazy family and it took 31 years to get the crazy out of me.

To have gone through so much work to heal myself and have my mother not acknowledge in any way that she was sorry for what had happened to me, broke my heart.

I think it's always hard for children to talk about abuse because it is only memory. I didn't carry around a tape recorder … I didn't chisel anything in stone … Anybody can look and say, 'Well how do you know for sure?' And that's one of the most painful things about it. You don't.

It's my job, to create a fantasy.