You've got to learn to let go and let your children fall, and fail. If you try to protect them from hurt, and always rush to their side with Band-Aids, they won't learn about life, and what is true, what works, what helps, and what are real consequences of certain kinds of behavior. When they do get hurt, which they will, they won't know how to take care of their grown selves. They won't even know where the aspirin is kept.

I used to love to untangle chains when I was a child. I had thin, busy fingers, and I never gave up. Perhaps there was a psychiatric component to my concentration but like much of my psychic damage, this worked to everyone's advantage.

So Rita and I decided that the most subversive, revolutionary thing I could do was to show up for my life and not be ashamed.

All freedom comes from discipline.

Trying to reason with an addict was like trying to blow out a lightbulb.

Peace is joy at rest. Joy is peace on its feet. quoting her pastor in Salon, April 25, 2003

Here are the two best prayers I know: 'Help me, help me, help me' and 'Thank you, thank you, thank you.