I spend about a year between novels

There is no sound more peaceful than rain on the roof, if you're safe asleep in someone else's house.

I forget a book as soon as I finish writing it, which is not always a good thing

While armchair travelers dream of going places, traveling armchairs dream of staying put.

It's true that writing is a solitary occupation, but you would be surprised at how much companionship a group of imaginary characters can offer once you get to know them.

Isn't a memorial service meant to comfort the living?

View your burden as a gift. It's the theme that has been given you to work with. Accept that and lean into it.