My family is very far from normal.

Only desperation can account for what the Chinese do in the name of 'medicine.' That's something you might remind your New Age friends who've gone gaga over 'holistic medicine' and 'alternative Chinese cures.

I need the anesthetic qualities of the local fire water.

The older I get, and the more I travel in particular, the less I care about what exactly is in the dish than who's cooking it and why.

I'm at my most productive before I even have my first cup of coffee. I only get slower and stupider as the day progresses.

I couldn't imagine a more unreliable, more unprofitable way to make a living than writing. My advice? Show up, do the best you can. Keep your day job. If you get a lucky break, don't f*** up. It was helpful to be older because I had made all the really stupid mistakes already.

I wish I could play bass like Larry Graham or Bootsy Collins. My God, I'd give up just about everything else for that.