If no one saw - it didn't count. It's only when you eat in front of strangers or people that make you feel guilty that food is really fattening.

In the 20 long, hungry years between my late teens and late 30s I bought in to virtually every new diet and/or exercise regime that hoved into view, particularly at this most vulnerable time for those of us prone to poor body image - a new year.

As I was growing up, it was made clear that the fat me wasn't welcome, that a thin person was expected and awaited, and impatiently so.

If there's one thing I know, it's this - everybody thinks somebody else is having a better life.

Does everyone turn into a truculent thirteen-year-old when they go home, or is it just me?

The real me now may not be thin but she's got the cake and, if she likes, can eat it too.

Despotism isn't nearly as bad as it's cracked up to be.