I make a lot of jokes about vegetarians in my act but most of them don't have the strength to protest.

Running is never fun. Running is something that you do when there's a man chasing you with a knife.

I make a lot of jokes about vegetarians in my act but most of them don't have the strength to protest.

Marriage is when two people are joined together to become one desperately boring person.

Football is the best way to get to know a people and a city.