They’ve taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.

There's no shortage of attention junkies with large breasts in Hollywood but only Michael Moore's are real.

President Obama shopped at a book store to help support Small Business Saturday. He bought fifteen books. His tax policies and his health care law have been so brutal on small businesses the only way they can survive is if he shops there personally.

Hillary Clinton ripped FBI Director Louis Freeh on Wednesday. She said she can't understand how FBI documents could vanish and then mysteriously reappear. She has to say that or she'd be thrown out of the Magician's Society.

Tennis legend Bjorn Borg appeared in a Swedish TV ad urging Swedes to have more sex to solve the country's falling birth rate. America can help. This is a perfect opportunity to name Jesse Jackson ambassador to Sweden.

The surest way to wake up and smell the roses every day is to go to sleep face down in the flower bed.

Walter Mondale once said God has no place in American politics and it turned out that God felt the same way about Walter Mondale.