I never see songs as permanent. I'm always in a state of revising everything.

That's really what keeps me playing live - appreciation. And I guess I've made a lot of wiggle room for myself to try different things and discover what I'm doing, and the audience accepts it.

The first half of high school, I had a girlfriend, and then the second half I got to know these guys who would just get stoned and jam. I had struck the goth thing by then, but I still thought of myself as Ian Curtis or something.

I was been raised to believe I was an artist. I believed what my parents said and fulfilled it, like a prophecy.

I think about music in the way that I heard music as a kid - like, Oh my god, there's this weird rubbery ball of undulating things.

My music already has this oldish kind of quality to it, like you don't necessarily know what era it was recorded in, so it all kind of felt surreal and weird. Night after night when I played live, I was really trying to figure it out in real time, and I still don't know what effect I'm going for or what effect I actually achieve. Looking back, I feel like it would be arrogant of me not to appreciate the fact that I've been able to do whatever I want and still have an audience come see me.

For me, self-gratification eventually took a backseat to trying to do something collaborative with other people, to trying to make something new.