I know when the anthrax thing hit - white people, y'all was very nervous. Y'all would come up to me at work and warn me, like 'Oh my God, Aries, be careful. Don't open your mail.' Let me tell you something - black folks was never worried about anthrax because, half the time, we don't open our mail no way. We might think that's a bill. We might hold it to the light and go, 'That's a red slip.' If you want to get us with anthrax, put that in a Jay-Z CD. That's how you get us.

I think Chappelle set the bar when he came out with his show. To be as great as him or greater you have to push it a little further - as long as there's substance in terms of the material.

How do you ask a woman to gargle your nuts?

Eddie Murphy was the Michael Jordan of comedy. He had a full range of abilities.

That's where the money is, on the road.

My momma used to kick in the door like SWAT!

We are all a little bit racist. White people, y'all are the first people to denounce it. I'm not racist. I'm incapable of being racist. My best friend is black... He's also my chauffeur, but he's my best friend.