Does there, I wonder, exist a being who has read all, or approximately all, that the person of average culture is supposed to have read, and that not to have read is a social sin? If such a being does exist, surely he is an old, a very old man.

It is well, when judging a friend, to remember that he is judging you with the same godlike and superior impartiality.

Time is the explicable raw material of everything.

The saxophone is the embodied spirit of beer.

Of all the inhabitants of the inferno, none but Lucifer knows that hell is hell, and the secret function of purgatory is to make of heaven an effective reality.

A first-rate organizer is never in a hurry. He is never late. He always keeps up his sleeve a margin for the unexpected.

I will never cease advising my friends and enemies to read poetry before anything.