Don't take it on yourself. Forget now. Live.
You specialize in something until one day it is specializing in you.
The word "now" is like a bomb through the window, and it ticks.
He wants to live on through something - and in his case, his masterpiece is his son. All of us want that, and it gets more poignant as we get more anonymous in this world.
Rise early. Write. Disappoint your sons. Read the newspaper. Go to bed early. Success.
A suicide kills two people, that's what it's for!