True luxury is being able to own your time - to be able to take a walk, sit on your porch, read the paper, not take the call, not be compelled by obligation.

I live my life like anybody else, and people choose to write about mine. And what they write I can't control - when they write lies at least - because the laws can't really protect you unless you can prove malicious intent. So I just choose not to read it.

I could never be with a woman who felt like she needs to change me.

Looks fade. Don't get too attached.

I was on Facebook. I was on MySpace. And somebody said to me, You should check out this thing called Twitter. I knew five people that were on it, so I started following those people and seeing what they were doing, and then I applied my own sensibility to it. The more that I shared, the more people started following me.

I have someone that cooks for me... that's the best thing ever. I just want to show up and I want my house to be like a hotel... so I want to have a couple of options... I like to have a couple of options.

It takes a lot of energy to be funny... for me it does. I feel like I work twice as hard when I'm doing comedy.