When your wife calls, you have to take it, no matter what you're doing.

The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart. And being thoughtful and being generous. Everything else is crap. I promise you. It's just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less. So don't buy it. Be smart. Be thoughtful and be generous.

I've learned the hard way how valuable privacy is. And I've learned that there are a lot of things in your life that really benefit from being private. And relationships are one of them.

The largest fear in the world is to speak in public. We fear of stumbling, or public humiliation, and so we're fearing a face-to-face rejection. So, we'll say things in a text or e-mail that we would never say face-to-face. So, relationships are coming together faster and breaking apart faster, and they're a little bit more disposable.

I can't grow a mustache. It's pretty sad if I attempt to.

Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha male.

It takes a lot of energy to be funny... for me it does. I feel like I work twice as hard when I'm doing comedy.