But you make me happy. It's living up to being happy that's the difficult part.

Every minute of his life since then has been marked by her absence, every action has lacked dimension because she is not there to measure against. And when I was young I didn't understand, but now, I know, how absence can be present, like a damaged nerve, like a dark bird.

He said something interesting: he said that he thinks there is only free will when you are in time, in the present. He says in the past we can only do what we did, and we can only be there if we were there.

Sometimes I'm happy when he's gone, but I'm always happy when he returns. -Clare

We are often insane with happiness. We are also very unhappy for reasons neither of us can do anything about. Like being separated.

‎I never wanted to have anything in my life that I couldn't stand losing. But it's too late for that.

That's what alcoholics do. It's in their job description: fall apart and then keep falling apart.