You would be amazed by what you can give up, lose, or break, and yet still be a person who gets happy over brownies.
Augusten BurroughsThe Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with him, but truthfully I would rather listen to retarded children pounding on pan lids with wooden spoons.
Augusten BurroughsThanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas; a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour.
Augusten Burroughs