I gazed around the room and my eyes stopped dead on a little boy standing in the corner. This was a particularly eerie doll. Life-sized and blond-haired and blue-eyed. I saw a little Nazi boy, pockets probably stuffed with scissors and retractable blades. My grandfather on my mother's side was rumored to be half Jewish, which practically makes me Jerry Seinfeld's brother, and thus wary of blond German boys with their hands out of sight.

The more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.

I was in advertising for years. That was cushy, you know? It's pretty cushy in a lot of ways, but I hated it.

Bad news should be followed with soup. Then a nap.

We were young. We were bored. And the old electroshock therapy machine was just under the stairs in a box next to the Hoover.

[Christmas] holidays are a heavy, heavy time. We make light of them with our red and green and our stockings and candy canes, but people think heavy thoughts over the holidays because that's when you're thinking about family. Are we close? Or are we not as close as other people?

The past doesn't haunt us, we haunt the past.