Most everybody had made at least one bad, drunken decision in their lives. Called an ex at two in the morning. Or perhaps has a little too much to drink on a second date and wept inconsolably while revealing how simply damaged one was, while nonetheless retaining an uncommonly large capacity for love. That kind of thing was, while regrettable, at least comprehensible. But waking up with someone generationally inappropriate, like your grandfather's best buddy?

I don't think writers - in general - ever achieve the fame of movie stars. For the simple reason that only a fraction of the population reads. But I guess there are exceptions.

I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways.

Stars should not be seen alone. That's why there are so many. Two people should stand together and look at them. One person alone will surely miss the good ones.

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

What police officer would dare ticket Death's minivan?

I was in advertising for years. That was cushy, you know? It's pretty cushy in a lot of ways, but I hated it.