We were young. We were bored. And the old electroshock therapy machine was just under the stairs in a box next to the Hoover.

and she's a nurse. do you know how hard nursing school is? it's like medical school. so she's obviously smart.

If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and doesn't' fit you.

The truth is that nobody is owed an apology for anything. Apologies are lovely when they happen. But they change nothing. They do not reverse actions or correct damage. They are merely nice to hear.

The reason I know what we are to each other is because we fight freely and almost constantly, about even the smallest thing. In fact, once we didn't speak for an entire week because he didn't like the way I loaded his dishwasher...I can't decide if we're exact opposites, or somehow exactly the same except for minor cosmetic differences. I do know that all of his friends hate me and all of my friends hate him. We drive each other crazy in ways that nobody else can even touch. We never bore each other. And we both realize what a rare thing this is.

your mind is like an unsafe neighborhood; don't go there alone.

I was in advertising for years. That was cushy, you know? It's pretty cushy in a lot of ways, but I hated it.