If you believe suicide will bring you peace, or at the very least just an end to everything you hate- you are displaying self-caring behavior. You are still able to actively seek solutions to your problems. You are willing to go to great lengths to provide what you believe will be soothing to yourself. This strikes me as optimistic.
Augusten BurroughsMy mother began to go crazy. Not in a 'Let's paint the kitchen red!' sort of way. But crazy in a 'gas oven, toothpaste sandwhich, I am God' sort of way.
Augusten BurroughsIt was unnerving, the way she could go from cool efficiency to sarcastic to sweet within the space of thirty seconds. I found it very manipulative and controlling. It put the other person constantly on-guard. And it was extremely intimidating because you never knew when she was going to snap. I made a mental note to refine these skills within myself.
Augusten BurroughsBut I can also write in crappy motel rooms, while standing in line, or sitting in the dentist's chair.
Augusten BurroughsItโs a wonder Iโm even alive. Sometimes I think that. I think that I canโt believe I havenโt killed myself. But thereโs something in me that just keeps going on. I think it has something to do with tomorrow, that there is always one, and that everything can change when it comes.
Augusten Burroughs