I was getting sick and tired of being lectured by dear friends with their little bottles of water and their regular visits to the gym. All of a sudden, we've got this voluntary prohibition that has to do with health and fitness. I'm not really in favor of health and fitness.

Life, after we'd had a few millennia to observe it, turned out to be dreadfully unfair, so we invented sports.

By and large, people who enjoy teaching animals to roll over will find themselves happier with a dog.

Gloom we have always with us, a rank and sturdy weed, but joy requires tending.

Very few people have no opinions about cats.

There is no 'cat language.' Painful as it is for us to admit, they don't need one!

The nostalgic notion of the family orchards is lovely - all that wholesome fruit for our forebears to sit on the back steps biting into - but basically we were growing it to drink.