It's not unsporting to thrash a cowardly cad,' said Simmons. 'Everyone knows you don't fight like a gentleman.' 'That might be called an oxymoron,' Ramses said. 'Oh--sorry. Bad form to use long words. Look it up when you get home.' The poor devil didn't know how to fight, like a gentleman or otherwise.

No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it.

That's maturity-when you realize that you've finally arrived at a state of ignorance as profound as your parents.

I do hope you have some money. I'm getting tired of hitting people.

Husbands do not care to be contradicted. Indeed, I do not know anyone who does.

Now, Mama, Papa, and sir," said Ramses, "please withdraw to the farthest corner and crouch down with your backs turned. It is as I feared; we will never break through by this method. The walls are eight feet thick. Fortunately I brought along a little nitroglycerin--" "Oh, good Gad," shrieked Inspector Cuff.

Spring is always cruel, with its false promise of resurrection.