The boy's got a lot to learn and I've got a lot to teach.

[On a dull party:] It was a fête worse than death.

Egotism - usually just a case of mistaken nonentity.

[On Marilyn Monroe:] Her body has gone to her head.

I couldn't remember my name for weeks. I'd be at the theater and hear them calling 'Miss Stanwyck, Miss Stanwyck,' and I'd think 'Where is that dame? Why doesn't she answer? By crickie, it's me!

I'm now the Lord of the Brighton Manor.

The more you kick something that's dead, the worse it smells.