All of the religions - with the exception of Tibetan Buddhism, which doesn't believe in a heaven - teach that heaven is a better place. At the end of the program, I say that heaven is a place where you are happy. All of the religions have that in common.

If it's a woman, it's caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative.

If you were a tree, what kind would you be?

Just do your job. Get in early. Stay late, and don’t complain. Fight the big fights.

Although I myself don't go to church or synagogue, I do, whether it's superstition or whatever, pray every time I get on a plane. I just automatically do it. I say the same thing every time.

A conversation isn't a competition.

Children are God's way of punishing us for having sex.