I want there to be a place in the world where people can engage in one anotherโs differences in a way that is redemptive, full of hope and possibility. Not this โIn order to love you, I must make you something elseโ. Thatโs what domination is all about, that in order to be close to you, I must possess you, remake and recast you.
Bell HooksIn patriarchal culture men are especially inclined to see love as something they should receive without expending effort. More often than not they do not want to do the work that love demands. When the practice of love invites us to enter a place of potential bliss that is at the same time a place of critical awakening and pain, many of us turn our backs on love.
Bell HooksThe first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.
Bell Hooks