I mostly want to remind her of the recipes of healing, and give her my own made-on-the spot remedy for the easing of her pain. I tell her, โGet a pen. Stop crying so you can write this down and start working on it tonight.โ My remedy is long. But the last item on the list says: โWhen you wake up and find yourself living someplace where there is nobody you love and trust, no community, it is time to leave town โ to pack up and go (you can even go tonight). And where you need to go is any place where there are arms that can hold you, that will not let you go.
Bell HooksAs all advocates of feminist politics know most people do not understand sexism or if they do they think it is not a problem. Masses of people think that feminism is always and only about women seeking to be equal to men. And a huge majority of these folks think feminism is anti-male. Their misunderstanding of feminist politics reflects the reality that most folks learn about feminism from patriarchal mass media.
Bell HooksWhen we work with love we renew the spirit; that renewal is an act of self-love, it nurtures our growth.
Bell HooksI still think it's important for people to have a sharp, ongoing critique of marriage in patriarchal society โ because once you marry within a society that remains patriarchal, no matter how alternative you want to be within your unit, there is still a culture outside you that will impose many, many values on you whether you want them to or not.
Bell Hooks