I find the fact that billionaires are quoted as if the fact that they are billionaires gives them some kind of wisdom is outrageous.

Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar. You have to hold it, you have to read it.

If I did things for the money, I'd have done adverts in the 1980s, when I was hot enough to be offered them, and 'Police Academy 6,' which I was asked to write.

You think I look like a teletubby?

You didn't wake up, your dreams just changed gear.

If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not; then marriages would be truly made in heaven.

The Germans are a cruel race. Their operas last for six hours and they have no word for fluffy.