The most exquisite folly is made of wisdom spun too fine.

Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of how much it has let pass out of its control. It is a small gesture, but one that can be very effective - especially in a large crowd. So fart, and if you must, fart often. But always fart without apology. Fart for freedom, fart for liberty - and fart proudly.

He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed.

Half the truth is often a great lie.

A ship under sail and a big-bellied woman, Are the handsomest two things that can be seen common.

We should make the poor uncomfortable and kick them out of poverty.

I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night