Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of how much it has let pass out of its control. It is a small gesture, but one that can be very effective - especially in a large crowd. So fart, and if you must, fart often. But always fart without apology. Fart for freedom, fart for liberty - and fart proudly.

To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends.

What is the use of a new-born child ?

It is easier to build two chimneys than to keep one in fuel.

Opportunity is the great bawd.

If you wou'd be reveng'd of your enemy, govern your self

Let no pleasure tempt thee, no profit allure thee, no persuasion move thee, to do anything which thou knowest to be evil; so shalt thou always live jollity; for a good conscience is a continual Christmas.