You don't get somebody to like you by doing them a favor. That only tends to build resentment over the fact that they are needy and you are not. No, you ask them to do you a favor.

Women are books, and men the readers be.

When Knaves betray each other, one can scarce be blamed or the other pitied.

Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.

I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America... He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.

Never praise your cider or your horse

We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.