I hate smoothies. Because they won't offer Firestone IPA beer as an ingredient.

Some of us find our lives abridged even before the paperback comes out.

I knew 'Mars Needs Moms! ' would be a movie seconds after the title came to mind. Similarly, I also knew that my daughter would be calling me a dork as a default term of endearment eventually.

Steve Dallas...a frat-boy lawyer who I knew in school. He's never written me. I suspect he was shot by an annoyed girlfriend, which has saved me many legal fees.

That's the conundrum of cartoon stripping, as opposed to political cartoons. When your anger is the driving force of your drawing hand, failure follows. The anger is OK, but it has to serve the interests of the heart, frankly.

My kids hear me behind my door, giggling like an idiot, and they roll their eyes at the blatant indignity of it all.

He comic page is dying; I didn't want to go with it.