So you grow up with those messages, "You're a failure, you embarrass me, that's why I dress you in dark colors etc." or even when parents commit suicide, the child may think they were a failure as a child causing that. The majority of those people who weren't loved turn to drugs and alcohol and suicide.
Bernie SiegelI grew up caring about people and I would say again, that's what made me who I am. I became a doctor for what I like to call "healthy reasons." Not because I'm fascinated by the human body or want to understand death, but I like people and I want to help them. That also became my problem, because I couldn't help everyone, I couldn't fix everyone.
Bernie SiegelI performed wound care or minor surgery, I would always apologize for any pain I was causing the animal and they would lick my hand and not bite me out of anger due to the pain. They are also far more forgiving than people are of human beings and other animals.
Bernie SiegelIt's hard to carry a child around with you, but fortunately, in most cases, you don't have to ask a child for directions if you have a well-chosen role model ready to guide you. This is the next prescription: Take one role model, as often as needed. Set aside a few minutes today to fill this prescription so you will have it handy when you need it. Think now about who your role models have been. What do they offer? Who else do you admire, and exactly what do you admire about them? Have your roster of role models ready and waiting to help you the next time you are perplexed.
Bernie SiegelIf none of your role models provide the answer, then it is time to go within and ask yourself, "What would make me happy?" In other words, let your feelings guide you. This doesn't work well if you focus narrowly on your personal needs. I am not talking about selfishness or self-interest. When I ask, What will make you happy?, I mean, What way of loving others feels right for you? Choose a way of loving that makes you happy, and your efforts will be play rather than work.
Bernie SiegelBe grateful simply for being alive. When you are grateful for life, pure and simple, your life becomes one you can be grateful for. That may strike you as circular or even backward logic, but your attitude really does have an effect on how things work out. When you can't change your life any other way, you can still change your attitude. When you do, your life changes. You find more chances to love, and you will be surprised to see how much more love is returned to you.
Bernie Siegel