Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.

America... where law and custom alike are based upon the dreams of spinsters...

The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.

Berkeley retains the merit of having shown that the existence of matter is capable of being denied without absurdity.

Animal rights, taken to their logical conclusion, mean votes for oysters.

You may, if you are an old-fashioned schoolmaster, wish to consider yourself full of universal benevolence and at the same time derive great pleasure from caning boys. In order to reconcile these two desires you have to persuade yourself that caning

Every living thing is a sort of imperialist, seeking to transform as much as possible of its environment into itself.