I'm shameless, and I love a pun. There's a lot of Beth puns.

If you have a therapist who agrees with your every word, then your brain isn't getting proper exercise.

Growing up as a chubby kid with a ton of imaginary friends and a Cyndi Lauper obsession, I learned about rejection early on and was constantly trying to avoid it.

I've belched a lot more since I had gall bladder surgery. I don't know why.

Why wear pants when you can wear a muumuu?

Even talking, I'm super-loud. I could never have that kind of meek, little wispy whimsical lavender and lace voice. It comes from my body. There's no way I can fight it.

When I was a kid Ellen DeGeneres and Rosie O'Donnell were mere blips on the gaydar; and they were both still in the closet.